Speak From Your Heart

Speak from your heart, not from your hurt.  I have been incredibly fortunate to have some amazing friends over the years, conversations that seems like minutes, then you look at the clock and it is after midnight.  This statement flowed from one of those moments.  I realized a new direction was opening in my life and I was reviewing some of my life lessons.  My friend was encouraging me as she wrote down words of wisdom that hit home for her and this summarized how to create my future world.

Many of us work so hard in relationships to protect ourselves from past pains we have experienced. I was in my thirties when I finally realized one of my patterns, in this case with boyfriends but no doubt it could have been applied to all relationships.  I was applying “lessons” or things to look out for in my next relationship so I would not be caught off guard.  I was projecting past behavior of exes onto a person I had yet to meet.  A part of me continued to try to prove why that was a good plan until I realized how unfair it felt if roles were reversed.  The truth is we all do this to some degree or another.  How do we allow people to grow and change without boxing them in to who they were before?

I remember driving with my family as a child.  I am not sure who we passed but a discussion ensued which sparked a knowing; all that person wanted was to feel loved which is what we all desire.  Those protection programs created to prevent hurt or to keep us safe, more often than not keeps us from our greatest wish.

I have a friend who is fantastic at challenging all social norms and behaviors. He talks about how we all walk on eggshells due to the many little lies we tell ourselves and others. His suggestion is to speak the truth of your heart in every conversation, no matter how uncomfortable. Remembering this in a tough moment, I was trying to express myself and found it really difficult to find the words.  I sensed their frustration and knew this heightened their fear of people hiding and not sharing their feelings which increased my stress.  I took a breathe, asked my heart, “what is the real truth right now?”  “This is hard and scary for me to say,” was the truth.  Instantly my friend relaxed, opening a space and what was difficult flowed out. It was neither hard nor scary to finally express. How many moments can turn out differently if we authentically articulate what is really going on? I easily could have exploded in frustration.  Instead that momentary truth paved the way for a heartfelt connection.

My takeaway from Bishop Curry’s moving address at the Royal Wedding last summer is; the next great evolution for humankind is when we learn to harness the power of love. Speak from your heart…

Original article appears in Sibyl Magazine: For the Spirit and Soul of Woman www.SibellaPublications.com