This time of year reminds me of my dad. Not only is it Father’s Day; June is his birthday. He was an amazing man; a twice-divorced parent raising two sets of children alone, contrary to social norms. I think anyone who steps up in this role is incredible. I know I have an internal strength of character, nourished by his love, as well as inheriting his wicked sense of humor.
We live in a time where the positive attributes of men seem to be lost among criticism or blame, much to the detriment of society. One night, flying in Afghanistan, my fellow pilot was lamenting that he was too old to have children. I shared my father was 48 when his last child was born. Elementary school classmates would alert us “Your grandfather’s waiting!” after school to pick us up. We kept him young at heart despite his age. At sixty, he played the role of my catcher, down on one knee, providing a target for my inaccurate pitches and chasing softballs when they flew over the backstop, rolling into the ravine.
Pausing, I wondered why I was sharing this cherished memory. I sensed dad had stopped by to say goodbye. Upon landing, I had a message to call my brother, who confirmed dad had passed away. Blessed by a sense of comfort and love, I knew he would be watching over me during the war.
Fathers cultivate our confidence that we can do anything we set our minds to. At age seven I came home and told him I was going to be a pilot. I was never limited in pursuing that dream. Although fearful of heights and flying himself, dad recognized my determination and was my greatest advocate, doing all he could to help me achieve that goal. Civil Air Patrol, sports leadership, flying lessons: dad strategized for me to be the most qualified Air Force Academy applicant. Fathers can push us beyond society’s limitations, encouraging us to climb higher, to dare and accomplish tasks beyond initial aspirations.
They also let us know how cherished we are, worth more than we perceive ourselves as self-conscious teens. While I took my dad’s encouragement for granted, I soon realized that not all women experience a supportive male, championing women’s equality. He often joked about answering to Grandma Catlin, his strong, confident, pioneering mother who was born a century too early. However, he represents a great many men – dads, grandfathers, uncles – good men who help us develop our capabilities by providing opportunities and letting us succeed or fail, always there to help us up, building our self-confidence and resilience. Quiet champions of our success, providing us with the fortitude to face adversity.
I hope we gain an awareness that celebrates the amazing qualities these men provide. They are holding space for our growth. The stoic, reserved demeanor masks pride and love; they cherish us enough to support us unconditionally as we discover who we are and where we belong.
Original article appears in Sibyl Magazine: For the Spirit and Soul of Womanwww.SibellaPublications.com
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